Truth is, Black women are expressing their exhaustion with the expectation of resilience placed upon them.
Written by Jessica Stewart
Resilience is a term often celebrated and praised. We hear it in the workplace, in motivational speeches, and even in our personal circles. For Black women, resilience is not just a trait; it’s a survival mechanism that we have mastered out of necessity. However, there's an often unspoken truth behind this celebrated resilience: many of us are tired of being resilient.
As a Black woman, licensed therapist, and Workplace Mental Health strategist, I’ve seen firsthand the toll that constant resilience takes on Black women. It’s important to understand why this exhaustion is not just valid but also a significant mental health concern.
The Weight of Resilience
Resilience, by definition, means the ability to recover quickly from difficulties. For Black women, difficulties are not sporadic; they are a daily reality. From microaggressions at work to systemic racism, the challenges we face are relentless. The expectation to remain strong, composed, and unbreakable is not just exhausting; it’s dehumanizing.
The Historical Context
Our history is laced with stories of Black women who have had to be strong in the face of unimaginable adversity. From the brutalities of slavery through the civil rights movement and even today, Black women have been at the forefront, bearing the brunt of societal challenges while still pushing forward. This historical narrative of the "strong Black woman" has been passed down through generations, creating an unrealistic expectation for contemporary Black women.
"We are powÂerÂful because we have surÂvived, and that is what it is all about- surÂvival and growth." -Audre Lorde
The Workplace Struggles
In the workplace, Black women often face unique challenges. We are underrepresented in leadership roles, and our contributions are frequently overlooked. We are expected to prove our worth continually, often working twice as hard for half the recognition. This constant need to prove oneself leads to burnout and mental exhaustion. Resilience in this context becomes a double-edged sword—while it helps us navigate these challenges, it also perpetuates the cycle of overwork and underappreciation.
The Emotional Toll
The emotional toll of always being resilient cannot be overstated. It leads to chronic stress, anxiety, and depression. The pressure to maintain a facade of strength can prevent us from seeking help and support. It can isolate us, making us feel like we have to handle everything on our own. This isolation is detrimental to our mental health, as it prevents us from forming meaningful connections and receiving the emotional support we need.
Recent research further underscores the profound impact of these stressors on the mental health of Black women. A study published in JAMA Psychiatry titled "Association of Racial Discrimination With Neural Response to Threat in Black Women in the US Exposed to Trauma" offers significant insights into this issue. The study explored how racial discrimination affects the brain's response to threat and emotional regulation among Black women who have experienced trauma.
The findings revealed that experiences of racial discrimination were significantly associated with heightened responses in brain regions responsible for threat vigilance and emotional regulation.
This heightened neural response indicates that the frequent experiences of racial discrimination place an excessive burden on the brain's regulatory mechanisms. Over time, this can lead to the depletion of these critical resources, making it increasingly difficult for Black women to manage stress and emotional challenges effectively. The study also found that these neural patterns were linked to errors in attention tasks, further demonstrating the cognitive toll of sustained racial discrimination.
Redefining Strength
It's time to redefine what strength looks like for Black women. Strength does not mean enduring without complaint. True strength lies in acknowledging our limits, seeking help, and advocating for our well-being. It means setting boundaries and prioritizing self-care. It means demanding equitable treatment and refusing to accept less than what we deserve. EbonyJanice Moore put's this beautifully in her book "All Black Girls Are Activist: A Fourth Wave Womanist Pursuit of Dreams As Radical Resistance"
"Being well in a culture and society that is the opposite of well IS a worthy contribution to revolution. If that’s all marginalized folk do is center our wellness… then we have done something very revolutionary." -EbonyJanice Moore
Building a Supportive Community
One of the most powerful ways to combat the exhaustion of resilience is through community. Connecting with other Black women who understand our struggles can provide the support and validation we need. Support groups, both in-person and virtual, can offer a safe space to share experiences, vent frustrations, and find solidarity. In these spaces, we can remind each other that it’s okay to not be okay and that seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness..
Advocacy and Systemic Change
While personal resilience is important, it is not a solution to systemic issues. We must advocate for systemic change in our workplaces and communities. This includes pushing for policies that promote diversity, equity, and inclusion, and holding institutions accountable for their treatment of Black women. It also means supporting and uplifting each other in our professional and personal lives.
Conclusion
Black women are tired of being resilient because resilience, in the way it has been demanded of us, is unsustainable. It’s time to shift the narrative. We deserve to be seen not just for our strength but for our humanity. We deserve spaces where we can be vulnerable, seek help, and receive support. By redefining resilience and advocating for systemic change, we can create a world where Black women can thrive, not just survive.
As we continue this journey, let’s remember that we are not alone. Let’s support each other, advocate for change, and most importantly, prioritize our mental health and well-being. We are deserving of rest, care, and a world that acknowledges and values our full humanity.
Call to Action
If you're a Black woman feeling the weight of resilience, know that it’s okay to seek help. Join a support group, reach out to a therapist, or connect with a community that understands your experience. Share this blog with a friend or co-worker who needs it. Together, we can redefine resilience and create a more equitable world for all of us.
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